![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
An autism video that makes you think
To watch it, go here.
Adam (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elenuial) has already written quite a bit about his views on autism and game design in his journal entry here.
As for me, watching this video has made me realize that for the daughter of a social worker, I know virtually nothing near what I would like to. I mean, yes. I have asperger's, which is considered (if not now officially) a mild, specific form of autism.
I discovered this two years ago. Apparently my turning 18 made my parents feel that it was safe to share it. I was bitter and quite upset, seeing as it would've saved me a lot of frustration for the last fifteen years had I known, but I appreciate it now. I don't know how well I would've handled it as a child, or how special treatment would have affected me.
I had been diagnosed as a child, and rather than put me into special programs or even let me become aware of some separation on a cognitive level from other children, they treated me as a normal child with odd hobbies and avoided all kinds of special treatment.
As a resut, I had certain social cues and other (supposedly) inherent/gleaned abilites become a learned skill. I had to learn to read people, whereas other children would see facial expressions and immediately know the emotion of the wearer. Instead, I would ask questions like "What are you feeling?" or "What are you thinking?" or "Why does your face crinkle up like that?" It puzzled a lot of adults, but the other children never seemed to mind. They would share because they were asked. They didn't quite grasp that people were just supposed to know these things.
I think that's why I do well with people now. One of those "you had to work for it to appreciate it" kind of things. And I think, too, that it's why I pay so much attention to detail, especially in things I create, like art and jewelry. This is also why I talk the way I do sometimes - anyone who's ever heard me just talk on about some random occurrence or something equally funny and strange - and not just one, a string of them! - will know what I'm talking about. It's something nearly everyone who meets me comments on - I'm so funny! so random! so quirky! such creative ideas! so awesome! refreshing! - where it's actually just a natural reaction to my practicing talking and sharing to no end as a child. I still do it into adulthood, but if you think it's bad now, you should've seen me when I was six.
It may also explain why I'm crap with names and faces and anything to do with people, but can recall the most random facts and bits of information on animals and what have you from the depths of my brain.
Not knowing had its drawbacks, though. For a while in high school, after several AP psych classes, I realized that the way my brain and senses functioned were different from those of the people around me. When we studied things like sensory function and the brain, I became afraid that I was a partial synesthete, which, all things considered, I may well be. I don't like to spread it around much, though - mentioning that you're a partial synesthete with a form of autism seems to bring out the reservations in people. I've seen everything happen to people - who are friendly, good conversationalists, mind you - when they mention that they have some kind of mental deviation. The other people will talk slower, louder, as if you were deaf, or use small words like they would to a child, get uncomfortable and excuse themselves, you name it.
I still don't like to talk about it. Even among friends. The only time I've ever mentioned my Asperger's in public was to a friend who had just shared that he had it to a group. He started to look uncomfortable, and the other people didn't know how to react, so I jumped in with a "Hey, we can start a club!" and steered the conversation away. After that, I had one girl come up to me (I have no idea who she is, she was run crew or something) and say that she was surprised that an outgoing, social person like me could be associated with something as harsh as autism. After she mentioned that she thought differently about it now, I felt a small swell of pride which made me a little less afraid to talk about it, but not too terribly much. I'm still a coward.
I wish I knew more about autism. I'm sending this video to my mother; she should see it. But I wish that while I was on my "What the hell is Asperger's?" kick, I had looked up other forms of autism, too. Knowing how and why I feel the need to be so social is all well and good, but there's so much more to it.
So, watch the video.
Anyone have any other thoughts/experiences with autism? How did you feel before and/or after watching the video? Anything?
I'd love to know.
-Haz
Adam (
elenuial) has already written quite a bit about his views on autism and game design in his journal entry here.As for me, watching this video has made me realize that for the daughter of a social worker, I know virtually nothing near what I would like to. I mean, yes. I have asperger's, which is considered (if not now officially) a mild, specific form of autism.
I discovered this two years ago. Apparently my turning 18 made my parents feel that it was safe to share it. I was bitter and quite upset, seeing as it would've saved me a lot of frustration for the last fifteen years had I known, but I appreciate it now. I don't know how well I would've handled it as a child, or how special treatment would have affected me.
I had been diagnosed as a child, and rather than put me into special programs or even let me become aware of some separation on a cognitive level from other children, they treated me as a normal child with odd hobbies and avoided all kinds of special treatment.
As a resut, I had certain social cues and other (supposedly) inherent/gleaned abilites become a learned skill. I had to learn to read people, whereas other children would see facial expressions and immediately know the emotion of the wearer. Instead, I would ask questions like "What are you feeling?" or "What are you thinking?" or "Why does your face crinkle up like that?" It puzzled a lot of adults, but the other children never seemed to mind. They would share because they were asked. They didn't quite grasp that people were just supposed to know these things.
I think that's why I do well with people now. One of those "you had to work for it to appreciate it" kind of things. And I think, too, that it's why I pay so much attention to detail, especially in things I create, like art and jewelry. This is also why I talk the way I do sometimes - anyone who's ever heard me just talk on about some random occurrence or something equally funny and strange - and not just one, a string of them! - will know what I'm talking about. It's something nearly everyone who meets me comments on - I'm so funny! so random! so quirky! such creative ideas! so awesome! refreshing! - where it's actually just a natural reaction to my practicing talking and sharing to no end as a child. I still do it into adulthood, but if you think it's bad now, you should've seen me when I was six.
It may also explain why I'm crap with names and faces and anything to do with people, but can recall the most random facts and bits of information on animals and what have you from the depths of my brain.
Not knowing had its drawbacks, though. For a while in high school, after several AP psych classes, I realized that the way my brain and senses functioned were different from those of the people around me. When we studied things like sensory function and the brain, I became afraid that I was a partial synesthete, which, all things considered, I may well be. I don't like to spread it around much, though - mentioning that you're a partial synesthete with a form of autism seems to bring out the reservations in people. I've seen everything happen to people - who are friendly, good conversationalists, mind you - when they mention that they have some kind of mental deviation. The other people will talk slower, louder, as if you were deaf, or use small words like they would to a child, get uncomfortable and excuse themselves, you name it.
I still don't like to talk about it. Even among friends. The only time I've ever mentioned my Asperger's in public was to a friend who had just shared that he had it to a group. He started to look uncomfortable, and the other people didn't know how to react, so I jumped in with a "Hey, we can start a club!" and steered the conversation away. After that, I had one girl come up to me (I have no idea who she is, she was run crew or something) and say that she was surprised that an outgoing, social person like me could be associated with something as harsh as autism. After she mentioned that she thought differently about it now, I felt a small swell of pride which made me a little less afraid to talk about it, but not too terribly much. I'm still a coward.
I wish I knew more about autism. I'm sending this video to my mother; she should see it. But I wish that while I was on my "What the hell is Asperger's?" kick, I had looked up other forms of autism, too. Knowing how and why I feel the need to be so social is all well and good, but there's so much more to it.
So, watch the video.
Anyone have any other thoughts/experiences with autism? How did you feel before and/or after watching the video? Anything?
I'd love to know.
-Haz