hazliya | On being a feminist for my dog

If I hear one more person say "Aw, now she won't get a chance to be a mom," I'm going to scream.

Yes, I had my dog spayed. No, it's not a horrible tragedy. Bug off.

Maybe I'm just projecting my own issues about being female onto my dog. Lord knows I could anthropomorphize a stick, never mind a living creature I care for on a daily basis. And I could be over-emotional from days of grieving and worrying about the surgery. But this has been going on for a while.

elenuial's mother tells me every single time we talk about how she cries over the fact that Elsa will never be a mother. I expected this from her - she's completely oblivious to the reasons behind spaying and neutering other than "it's just what you do."

There are so many reasons to not breed your dog. To be perfectly frank, I don't think that anyone should breed their dogs unless they're part of a recognized breeding program and have at least as many depositors on the litter as there are potential pups. Never mind the physical toll it would take on her body (pregnancy ruins dogs) the financial and emotional aspects of it are just something I would never go through. The only creature I want Elsa to have to worry about and take care of is Elsa. As her owner, I want nothing more for her than total happiness and contentment to just be herself. And I don't think that not being bred will keep her from happiness.

But last night,

elenuial picked up Elsa, cuddled her, and sad how it was a shame she could never have puppies.

atxcduafyuglsihiroghowaienrgbfn

I took a deep breath, then decided that I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and not kicking him to the curb.

Anyway, what's pissing me off is that it's mostly been women telling me how wrong it is to fix her before she has a litter and experiences that part of being female. Swear to freaking God, 75% of the women I've told that I'm fixing my dog say something along the lines of "aww, she'll never fully realize what it's like to be a woman."

Really, ladies? You're not a proven female until you've popped out a litter?

I hate that the culture that tells us that women aren't really women until they give birth even permeates to our dogs.

Know what I say to people who think that way?

Fuck you. I'm a woman.

I don't have kids. I might not ever. But I refuse to believe that I am any less of a woman because of that.

Now, I'll admit, my definition of womanhood isn't exactly typical. I believe that those who undergo SRS or even MFTs are women in my eyes, maybe even more so than genetic females.

(I just told off a client in my mother's waiting room who just said "aww, you don't want puppies?" She got a fifteen-minute earful, after which she admitted that she wanted to breed her female boxer until she saw the fees for stud service.)

I do agree that pregnancy and childbirth is an incredible thing. But I don't think that it's the be-all, end-all of being born with the equipment to do it.

And if you tell me otherwise, or imply that my dog is any less female because she'll never experience the joy of parenthood, I'll kick you in the crotch so hard that you never get to experience it, either.

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Holy shit. Projection, much? The dog doesn't care. I doubt I'd be able to suppress the "oh hell I'm in the presence of a nutter" look if someone said that about a dog in earshot.

Me projecting, or other people projecting? Because I'm pretty sure Elsa doesn't give a crap much beyond her food and toys.

Other people. Sorry I wasn't clear, but the "oh noes no puppies" thing is so entirely ludicrous I didn't think I had to. (Not blaming you. Just reinforcing that you are transparently, obviously right, and everyone else is crazy.)

This.

So much, this.

Amen. Everyone else is crazy. I wanted to gut my mother when she repeated ad nauseam about our female kitten 'Oh, she's so pretty. I can't wait to see her kittens!'

WTF? Let her enjoy being a kitten, fer chrissake.

I got the last laugh. First naturally sterile cat I ever knew. Mom refused to fix her and so she'd go into noisy heat, rut with her boyfriends on the deck, and have no kittens to speak of. ;)

I really don't understand some people. It's so important to spay or neuter most mammalian species of pets. Female rabbits, for example, get uterine cancer so easily that a number of health risks are avoided by spaying them. It really irks me when people with outdoor cats don't get them altered. They are responsible for increasing the stray population.

Unless you plan on becoming a professional breeder, there's no reason to keep your dog intact or to breed her. Elsa is not going to have a life any less full of happiness or love because she won't procreate. These women are obviously projecting their ideals for human women onto your dog, and that's ridiculous, and it's disgusting that they have those ideals for women. Sure, it's sad if a woman who WANTS children can't have them, but to imply that it's a shame for any female creature not to procreate is a giant pile of bullshit.

Equally annoying? Men who don't get their male dogs altered because they can't "take away my dog's manhood!" Dude, if your dog gets loose for a few hours, you may be the reason for some other dog owner having a big expensive mess on his/her hands, and that's just rude and irresponsible.

To those guys, I say: neuticles (http://www.neuticles.com/).

Augh. Just, augh. That's just... ridiculous. Ridic. Again, with the projection and the unnecessary... augh. I mean, I'm not really surprised that our society is so obsessed with genitals... but.. I just... ::head explodes::

There. I feel better now.

Fortunately, Amanda has not yet had to... install?... a pair of neuticles, but they did get to... explore? sample? grope?... them in vet school. They come in an amazing variety of sizes. All the way from 'why bother' to 'overcompensating through your pet'.

Not just that, but Spaying/Neutering often makes the animal more amenable and manageable, and some evidence indicates, happier. As well as longer lived and healthier. So lose the 'manhood' (doghood? cathood?) and have a better pet for it.

Those comments are just weird. I've never heard that before.

what makes me sad are all of the dogs and cats that came into this world and have no one who wants them or has the ability (time, space, money) to take care of them.

in my eyes, what you did was simply responsible.

Blurgh. These people make my head hurt. Spaying Elsa is good for her in pretty much every way. I... I am sorry that people are dumb.

Weird. I wouldn't expect lots of people telling you that. Shows how much I know, I guess.

Wow, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm very much in the "that's pretty ridiculous" camp, and very much on your side of this rant. Lord knows I never plan on having kids, I've never felt suddenly less of a woman for it.

First of all, I totally agree with you - not bearing children does not make you (or any other woman) less of a woman. That's just silly. Besides, pregnancy sucks.

With that behind me, I do not understand people who refuse to spay/neuter their pets, especially pets that could find a mate outside the house. I've dealt with a cat in heat. I've dealt with male cats who spray and are agressive because they're looking for some *cough* pussy. Why put your pet through that unless you are specifically TRYING to breed them?

Sure, kittens and puppies are cute. If you want one (or a litter of them), go to a shelter or a breeder.

Congratulations on neutering your animal, and thank you for being responsible. There is a reason why we do not have packs of wild dogs roaming the northeast, and it is, in a large part, people like you who properly care for your pet.

I'll leave the woman thing to those better qualified, but I know I don't feel like any more of a man now that I've had a child. Just more tired.

On being a feminist for my dog

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