Curiouser and Curiouser

If I hear one more person say "Aw, now she won't get a chance to be a mom," I'm going to scream.

Yes, I had my dog spayed. No, it's not a horrible tragedy. Bug off.

Maybe I'm just projecting my own issues about being female onto my dog. Lord knows I could anthropomorphize a stick, never mind a living creature I care for on a daily basis. And I could be over-emotional from days of grieving and worrying about the surgery. But this has been going on for a while. elenuial's mother tells me every single time we talk about how she cries over the fact that Elsa will never be a mother. I expected this from her - she's completely oblivious to the reasons behind spaying and neutering other than "it's just what you do."

There are so many reasons to not breed your dog. To be perfectly frank, I don't think that anyone should breed their dogs unless they're part of a recognized breeding program and have at least as many depositors on the litter as there are potential pups. Never mind the physical toll it would take on her body (pregnancy ruins dogs) the financial and emotional aspects of it are just something I would never go through. The only creature I want Elsa to have to worry about and take care of is Elsa. As her owner, I want nothing more for her than total happiness and contentment to just be herself. And I don't think that not being bred will keep her from happiness.

But last night, elenuial picked up Elsa, cuddled her, and sad how it was a shame she could never have puppies.

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I took a deep breath, then decided that I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and not kicking him to the curb.

Anyway, what's pissing me off is that it's mostly been women telling me how wrong it is to fix her before she has a litter and experiences that part of being female. Swear to freaking God, 75% of the women I've told that I'm fixing my dog say something along the lines of "aww, she'll never fully realize what it's like to be a woman."

Really, ladies? You're not a proven female until you've popped out a litter?

I hate that the culture that tells us that women aren't really women until they give birth even permeates to our dogs.

Know what I say to people who think that way?

Fuck you. I'm a woman.

I don't have kids. I might not ever. But I refuse to believe that I am any less of a woman because of that.

Now, I'll admit, my definition of womanhood isn't exactly typical. I believe that those who undergo SRS or even MFTs are women in my eyes, maybe even more so than genetic females.

(I just told off a client in my mother's waiting room who just said "aww, you don't want puppies?" She got a fifteen-minute earful, after which she admitted that she wanted to breed her female boxer until she saw the fees for stud service.)

I do agree that pregnancy and childbirth is an incredible thing. But I don't think that it's the be-all, end-all of being born with the equipment to do it.

And if you tell me otherwise, or imply that my dog is any less female because she'll never experience the joy of parenthood, I'll kick you in the crotch so hard that you never get to experience it, either.

I wasn't a little girl who planned her wedding. My barbie didn't get married - she got tattooed and had horrible haircuts (while her head was still attached). So, my idea was that if it ever came down to it, I'd put on a cute, white-ish dress and go down to the courthouse on a tuesday afternoon.

I didn't count on marrying someone who loves to plan big events.

I've been shopping around, and I've discovered a few things:
- I love big white tents. LOVE them. I want to string up tons and tons of colorful paper lanterns so that when people walk in, they look up and their world changes.
- jingsaw said that for him, his wedding was a joining of communities, and I like that idea much better than "a stuffy, white-themed exchanging of rings and polite conversation."
- I want dancing. Seriously. Everyone coming to my wedding will dance. I will put joy buzzers on all of the seats if necessary.
- Casual is the keyword. The only people I want to even think about stress are the people setting up my tents and dance floors.

There are some other things, but I've pretty much fallen in love with the idea of a 50s picnic lunch wedding. Barbeque. Potluck. Beer. Dancing. Kind of like how this wedding went.

Down to the ridiculously 50s silhouette dress. I'm in love with that style of dress. And fuck it, I'll wear red shoes to my wedding. Hookers and children be damned.

I want to make all the decorations myself. I'd absolutely love that. I'm a creative person, and my mind is buzzing with ideas - tons of red and white paper lanterns of all different sizes strung out in the sun, tables and bouquet covered in red paper flowers. (I also want to have a zero footprint wedding - all of the paper can either be recycled or burned. I want to avoid plastic and glass if at all possible).

I'd really like it to be just a Sunday when people can get together, grill food, dance like idiots, and at some point in the afternoon, elenuial and I will get married.

I just don't know how to make this happen, if it can. How does that kind of party sound to y'all?

EDIT: I also want to have a carnival photo booth.