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As some of you may know, I'm a closet dirty blonde. I've been dumping dye into my hair since high school, and only now have given in and am letting it grow out naturally. Trouble is, the same genetics that gave me light hair and light eyes also gave me (shock and awe!) light skin.
Which makes body hair look even darker.
Now, I'm obsessive about my body hair. Even if I'm wearing pants, I have to shave my legs. But I always hate the day-after stubble, not to mention the fact that I have to do it every couple of days. Same thing with bikini line and underarms. I've never shaved my arms, mostly out of fear of how it would grow back, but I've always been super self-conscious about my arm hair.
I tried a hair remover cream on my arms. It did a decent job, except it burned a few little holes in my hyper-sensitive skin. No thx.
Then I heard about epilators from a coworker who has one. The concept was both horrifying and intriguing - a series of tweezers that systematically plucked hair in large areas and by pulling from the root, kept it at bay. Theoretically, the hair that grew back would be finer, slower-growing, harder to see, and easier for future plucking. I did some research, decided that it would be worth it to at least try, and picked a model I liked.
It arrived, and I saw something like this.
And I turned it on, and it SPUN and made this awfully intimidating mechanical keening noise. I thought to myself, where have I seen this before?
Oh, right.
Okay, so. On to the results.
Arms: The main area I was worried about. Last thing I want is tiny black spots all over my arms from half-plucked hairs. Besides, finer hair on arms means less pain, right?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Now, I understand the logistics here. The first time, you're plucking full-grown, thick hairs, not the tiny little sapling hairs you'll be sprouting later. You're ripping up planted roots here, so it's going to hurt like a bitch. And everything I read unanimously agreed that the first time is a thousand percent worse (or more) than any subsequent epilations. And even the little, wispy hair on my arms felt like burning. Seriously. Dozens of simultaneous short, stabbing pains made me take a second, brace myself, and dive back in.
I finished one pass, admired the results (an angry-looking skin pattern, but no stubble whatsoever) and with enthusiasm returned, took a second pass.
OH MY GOD SO MUCH BETTER.
The second pass was infinitely better than the first. I rubbed some lotion on my skin, watched my blotches visibly relax, then moved on to the second arm.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Underarms: I knew this would be worse, seeing as the hairs are in a thicker, low-contact zone. Also, from what I understand, underarm hair growth patterns tend to resemble fractals in their directional pattern, so going with the grain in any given section would go against the grain for at least half the hair. Encouraged by the success on my arms, I took a hot shower, lightly scrubbed off any dead skin, let the area thoroughly dry, and then started slowly.
Holy. Mother. Of. Fuck.
Seriously, after 30 seconds, the pain had me lightheaded. I had to sit down and catch my breath. It was incredible. Every individual hair killed me. Pulling the skin taut, changing angles, shorter strokes - everything led to a world of pain. But I persevered, eventually just hacking away at tiny sections that pushed my pain threshold until it looked pretty clear, then cleaned myself up and went to work. After my shift, I came home, washed up, and braced myself for round two.
Amazingly, similar results: pass #2 was infinitely better than the first. And the angriness and tenderness in the skin had dissipated, so the nerve endings weren't primed for more pain anymore. But the results were well worth suffering through that first pass: much less pain, and not a single black spot of stubble to be found. They look great, and subsequent touch-ups have been minimal.
Bikini Line: No way. No freaking way. Not touching that with the epilator unless I see that the results are GODDAMN worth what I know I'm going to have to go through. And that day may be never.
Legs: It took a while before I could do these. I definitely had a moment of "This worked! Let's keep going!" but the pain that hit was similar to that of the arms, except worse and pricklier. So I waited a while, then sat my ass down and did them section by section, wincing over the more sensitive parts. Ankles and side-of-knee tended to be the worst, but it followed the pattern: horrible the first time, barely flinched the second.
The verdict? So far, it delivers on everything it promised. My arms look the same as they did five days ago without a touch-up yet, legs are too soon to tell, and underarms look and feel great. The epilator I got can be used corded or cordless, and seems very durable and easy to maintain. I think that if I kept this up, I might never have to shave again.
I'd recommend it to everyone if it wasn't for the pain of initiation. The results are fantastic, but my pain tolerance is pretty high and even I had to stop for hours at a time because of the amount and type associated with this little thing.
Meme answers to come tomorrow - sleeping off my body's endorphin overdrive now.
Which makes body hair look even darker.
Now, I'm obsessive about my body hair. Even if I'm wearing pants, I have to shave my legs. But I always hate the day-after stubble, not to mention the fact that I have to do it every couple of days. Same thing with bikini line and underarms. I've never shaved my arms, mostly out of fear of how it would grow back, but I've always been super self-conscious about my arm hair.
I tried a hair remover cream on my arms. It did a decent job, except it burned a few little holes in my hyper-sensitive skin. No thx.
Then I heard about epilators from a coworker who has one. The concept was both horrifying and intriguing - a series of tweezers that systematically plucked hair in large areas and by pulling from the root, kept it at bay. Theoretically, the hair that grew back would be finer, slower-growing, harder to see, and easier for future plucking. I did some research, decided that it would be worth it to at least try, and picked a model I liked.
It arrived, and I saw something like this.
And I turned it on, and it SPUN and made this awfully intimidating mechanical keening noise. I thought to myself, where have I seen this before?
Oh, right.
Okay, so. On to the results.
Arms: The main area I was worried about. Last thing I want is tiny black spots all over my arms from half-plucked hairs. Besides, finer hair on arms means less pain, right?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Now, I understand the logistics here. The first time, you're plucking full-grown, thick hairs, not the tiny little sapling hairs you'll be sprouting later. You're ripping up planted roots here, so it's going to hurt like a bitch. And everything I read unanimously agreed that the first time is a thousand percent worse (or more) than any subsequent epilations. And even the little, wispy hair on my arms felt like burning. Seriously. Dozens of simultaneous short, stabbing pains made me take a second, brace myself, and dive back in.
I finished one pass, admired the results (an angry-looking skin pattern, but no stubble whatsoever) and with enthusiasm returned, took a second pass.
OH MY GOD SO MUCH BETTER.
The second pass was infinitely better than the first. I rubbed some lotion on my skin, watched my blotches visibly relax, then moved on to the second arm.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Underarms: I knew this would be worse, seeing as the hairs are in a thicker, low-contact zone. Also, from what I understand, underarm hair growth patterns tend to resemble fractals in their directional pattern, so going with the grain in any given section would go against the grain for at least half the hair. Encouraged by the success on my arms, I took a hot shower, lightly scrubbed off any dead skin, let the area thoroughly dry, and then started slowly.
Holy. Mother. Of. Fuck.
Seriously, after 30 seconds, the pain had me lightheaded. I had to sit down and catch my breath. It was incredible. Every individual hair killed me. Pulling the skin taut, changing angles, shorter strokes - everything led to a world of pain. But I persevered, eventually just hacking away at tiny sections that pushed my pain threshold until it looked pretty clear, then cleaned myself up and went to work. After my shift, I came home, washed up, and braced myself for round two.
Amazingly, similar results: pass #2 was infinitely better than the first. And the angriness and tenderness in the skin had dissipated, so the nerve endings weren't primed for more pain anymore. But the results were well worth suffering through that first pass: much less pain, and not a single black spot of stubble to be found. They look great, and subsequent touch-ups have been minimal.
Bikini Line: No way. No freaking way. Not touching that with the epilator unless I see that the results are GODDAMN worth what I know I'm going to have to go through. And that day may be never.
Legs: It took a while before I could do these. I definitely had a moment of "This worked! Let's keep going!" but the pain that hit was similar to that of the arms, except worse and pricklier. So I waited a while, then sat my ass down and did them section by section, wincing over the more sensitive parts. Ankles and side-of-knee tended to be the worst, but it followed the pattern: horrible the first time, barely flinched the second.
The verdict? So far, it delivers on everything it promised. My arms look the same as they did five days ago without a touch-up yet, legs are too soon to tell, and underarms look and feel great. The epilator I got can be used corded or cordless, and seems very durable and easy to maintain. I think that if I kept this up, I might never have to shave again.
I'd recommend it to everyone if it wasn't for the pain of initiation. The results are fantastic, but my pain tolerance is pretty high and even I had to stop for hours at a time because of the amount and type associated with this little thing.
Meme answers to come tomorrow - sleeping off my body's endorphin overdrive now.
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