Curiouser and Curiouser

I Wear Glasses Now: A Triptych.

Turns out I've been nearsighted for a few years, and my left eye is a different prescription from my right. I put them on and I was like "HOLY CRAP how did I live before this?!" So now I can read street signs and see things in the distance and whatnot. I don't need to wear them 24/7, but I'm trying to wear them for long periods to get used to having frames in my vision and something sitting on the bridge of my nose. Once I get used to them, though, it'll take all my willpower to not buy a hundred different crazy cool frames. (Also, $150 for exam and lenses and frames? Good deal.)

First thing I did was duck into the bathroom for five minutes and take obligatory proof snapshots, of course.

Also, first one to make a hipster comment gets kicked in the nuts.

Seriously. Sugar.

So, those of you who saw my post about switching to an epilator know how obsessive I am about body hair. Even in the winter.

Now, the epilator's great. I love it - when I remember to keep up with it. If I let it go for too long, though, it gets to be annoyingly painful again. Still, not nearly as bad as the beginning or some other methods, but irritating none the less.

I'd heard about Sugaring before, but the Science! part of my brain knew that I could easily do it myself at home using candymaking techniques rather than pay for kits.

The formula that worked for me:
1c granulated sugar
2tbsp water
2tbsp lemon juice

Bring it to a frothy boil over medium heat. Stir constantly - it's sugar, after all. Also, remember titrations in high school chem? We're doing that again. Your mixture will be colorless, colorless... and then all of a sudden rapidly darken. You want it to be a honey amber-ish color. Golden, even. It shouldn't take more than 8-10 minutes to get to this point. At most.

Move it to a microwave-safe container and let it cool until it's just warm. Please be careful - hot sugar is like molten lava. When it's warm but not hot, use a butterknife or waxing spatula to spread a thin layer over the area, then use cotton strips (6"x3" worked great for me - you can even cut up an old sheet) and press down firmly, then rip.

Notes on the sugar: it should stay viscous at room temperature and not fully solidify. If it does, then you've cooked it too long and it's gotten to the "hard candy" stage of things. You want it to be taffy consistency. If you've gone a little too far, sometimes you can microwave it and add a bit of water until you've come back down. If not, try again! Warm (not hot!) sugar works best.

But it works, it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would, and my legs are nice and smooth. Any stragglers are easy to take care of with the epilator.

I'd recommend giving it a shot. It's pretty easy, and once you get into a rhythm, goes quickly.

As some of you may know, I'm a closet dirty blonde. I've been dumping dye into my hair since high school, and only now have given in and am letting it grow out naturally. Trouble is, the same genetics that gave me light hair and light eyes also gave me (shock and awe!) light skin.

Which makes body hair look even darker.

Now, I'm obsessive about my body hair. Even if I'm wearing pants, I have to shave my legs. But I always hate the day-after stubble, not to mention the fact that I have to do it every couple of days. Same thing with bikini line and underarms. I've never shaved my arms, mostly out of fear of how it would grow back, but I've always been super self-conscious about my arm hair.

I tried a hair remover cream on my arms. It did a decent job, except it burned a few little holes in my hyper-sensitive skin. No thx.

Then I heard about epilators from a coworker who has one. The concept was both horrifying and intriguing - a series of tweezers that systematically plucked hair in large areas and by pulling from the root, kept it at bay. Theoretically, the hair that grew back would be finer, slower-growing, harder to see, and easier for future plucking. I did some research, decided that it would be worth it to at least try, and picked a model I liked.

It arrived, and I saw something like this.



And I turned it on, and it SPUN and made this awfully intimidating mechanical keening noise. I thought to myself, where have I seen this before?

Oh, right.



Okay, so. On to the results.

Arms: The main area I was worried about. Last thing I want is tiny black spots all over my arms from half-plucked hairs. Besides, finer hair on arms means less pain, right?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Now, I understand the logistics here. The first time, you're plucking full-grown, thick hairs, not the tiny little sapling hairs you'll be sprouting later. You're ripping up planted roots here, so it's going to hurt like a bitch. And everything I read unanimously agreed that the first time is a thousand percent worse (or more) than any subsequent epilations. And even the little, wispy hair on my arms felt like burning. Seriously. Dozens of simultaneous short, stabbing pains made me take a second, brace myself, and dive back in.

I finished one pass, admired the results (an angry-looking skin pattern, but no stubble whatsoever) and with enthusiasm returned, took a second pass.

OH MY GOD SO MUCH BETTER.

The second pass was infinitely better than the first. I rubbed some lotion on my skin, watched my blotches visibly relax, then moved on to the second arm.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Underarms: I knew this would be worse, seeing as the hairs are in a thicker, low-contact zone. Also, from what I understand, underarm hair growth patterns tend to resemble fractals in their directional pattern, so going with the grain in any given section would go against the grain for at least half the hair. Encouraged by the success on my arms, I took a hot shower, lightly scrubbed off any dead skin, let the area thoroughly dry, and then started slowly.

Holy. Mother. Of. Fuck.

Seriously, after 30 seconds, the pain had me lightheaded. I had to sit down and catch my breath. It was incredible. Every individual hair killed me. Pulling the skin taut, changing angles, shorter strokes - everything led to a world of pain. But I persevered, eventually just hacking away at tiny sections that pushed my pain threshold until it looked pretty clear, then cleaned myself up and went to work. After my shift, I came home, washed up, and braced myself for round two.

Amazingly, similar results: pass #2 was infinitely better than the first. And the angriness and tenderness in the skin had dissipated, so the nerve endings weren't primed for more pain anymore. But the results were well worth suffering through that first pass: much less pain, and not a single black spot of stubble to be found. They look great, and subsequent touch-ups have been minimal.

Bikini Line: No way. No freaking way. Not touching that with the epilator unless I see that the results are GODDAMN worth what I know I'm going to have to go through. And that day may be never.

Legs: It took a while before I could do these. I definitely had a moment of "This worked! Let's keep going!" but the pain that hit was similar to that of the arms, except worse and pricklier. So I waited a while, then sat my ass down and did them section by section, wincing over the more sensitive parts. Ankles and side-of-knee tended to be the worst, but it followed the pattern: horrible the first time, barely flinched the second.

The verdict? So far, it delivers on everything it promised. My arms look the same as they did five days ago without a touch-up yet, legs are too soon to tell, and underarms look and feel great. The epilator I got can be used corded or cordless, and seems very durable and easy to maintain. I think that if I kept this up, I might never have to shave again.

I'd recommend it to everyone if it wasn't for the pain of initiation. The results are fantastic, but my pain tolerance is pretty high and even I had to stop for hours at a time because of the amount and type associated with this little thing.

Meme answers to come tomorrow - sleeping off my body's endorphin overdrive now.

My apologies for an emo post.

I have no idea if this is related to my medical issues or not (I'm guessing not), but my self-esteem has been down the tubes lately.

I've been extremely self-conscious, especially about what I say. It leads, more often than not, to me not saying things that are probably fine. Or would have been good/hilarious to say. Many, if not most of my social interactions lately have had glaringly awkward moments, and my social processing speed is down to a slow trot. Maybe this is due to a lot of my dynamics with people shifting recently, and my head trying to make sense of things.

I've also had my body image drop down to nil. I don't feel attractive at all in any way, shape, or form. I have no idea why, but I've been very unhappy when it comes to my looks.
Maybe this has something to do with my job leaving me covered in scratches, dog hair, and the occasional slobber of gratitude. Or the awkward midway-length stage of growing my hair back out.

I'm also trying very hard to be a good teacher, partner, seamstress, and a number of other challenging things and coming up empty in the confidence department.

I'm hoping this'll pass. I hate feeling like crap. And wanting to sleep all the time.

Off to drink tea, cook dinner, and watch a movie with <3.

Bit the first: New hair! Just in time for warm weather. A few inches shorter than I'd dared to cut it before, too. Now it's in this neat little pointed bob that hits my hairline in back. I really like it - and am planning to go dark red at some point in May. I've been told that red with blue eyes (especially with really light blues like mine) looks good, so we'll see how it ends up.
( Picture under the cut. )
What do you think? Too short? Go for red?

Bit the second: Like Putting a Leash on a Rocket Launcher is officially on the roster for Intercon J. And I have the whole character map already set up, as well as every character named and gender-ed. I refuse to last-minute like I did with Martha's last year. Also, this game'll be a little smaller, so those who want to play will probably have to sign up as early as possible.

Bit the third: People are awesome. zombie_dog's party last night was a lot of fun, and I got to chill with a lot of people I don't get to see very often. Also, I got to see buddhagrrl and jingsaw's new place, and it excites me to no end knowing that they'll be 15 minutes away from now on. Or rather, from soon on. =)

Bit the fourth: New pictures of Bowie being cute. As always. He's getting big, too - and growing into his adult patterns. He was also very zoomy and prowly today, so we let him take out his energy exploring the blankets as elenuial and I curled up to watch House. He keeps trying to crawl into clear plastic buckets in an attempt to procure a mouse from me, which is very cute, but ultimately gets him nowhere.
e: "Snake wants a brownie."
h: "He doesn't want a brownie. The tupperware just looks like his feeding tank. He's hungry."
e: "Hungry for brownies."
( Snake cuteness! )

And that's enough for now, I think.

(Doesn't Bowie look more grown-up? I think he's getting handsome. =))

So, as some of you may have seen on Twitter, I took a trip (ha!) to the emergency room today with a skin rash and a head injury.

I emerged later with a diagnosis of soap and concussion/sprained neck.

I'm still a bit dizzy and loopy, but attempting to write character sheets all the same.

Eight left, and Intercon is friday. =(

I may need to rethink my tattoo idea. This is pretty awesome.



-H

IT'S SO SHORT. I LOVE IT.

It bounces! <3

-H

Inspired by juldea's post, I'm thinking of using PhysicsDiet.com to help myself with weight loss. Since I have trouble focusing on my eating habits with the schedule I keep, I'm going to try a few smaller things (like setting my first goal small) to help me. Things like dividing large meals into smaller and better spaced ones, having an exercise regimen, and focusing on my body's trouble areas. It's not so much about the pounds as the measurements for me, as muscle mass weighs more than fat, but it seems like a good tracking tool.

This is what I get for letting myself slip over the colder months. =/

Let's see how this goes.

-H

This post is actually about clothes. Sorry to disappoint.

When I was home, my mother passed along several pairs of pants she wears that used to fit her, but no longer do. They're awesome pants, and they fit me, but they don't fit well. So now I have a measurable way to motivate myself to keep slimming down. Five more pounds, and those pants'll fit like a glove.

Lunacon and family musings later. I'm not really in the mood to write.

-Haz