My head, how fickle it is.
Sep. 26th, 2009 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hazliyaMy apologies for an emo post.
I have no idea if this is related to my medical issues or not (I'm guessing not), but my self-esteem has been down the tubes lately.
I've been extremely self-conscious, especially about what I say. It leads, more often than not, to me not saying things that are probably fine. Or would have been good/hilarious to say. Many, if not most of my social interactions lately have had glaringly awkward moments, and my social processing speed is down to a slow trot. Maybe this is due to a lot of my dynamics with people shifting recently, and my head trying to make sense of things.
I've also had my body image drop down to nil. I don't feel attractive at all in any way, shape, or form. I have no idea why, but I've been very unhappy when it comes to my looks.
Maybe this has something to do with my job leaving me covered in scratches, dog hair, and the occasional slobber of gratitude. Or the awkward midway-length stage of growing my hair back out.
I'm also trying very hard to be a good teacher, partner, seamstress, and a number of other challenging things and coming up empty in the confidence department.
I'm hoping this'll pass. I hate feeling like crap. And wanting to sleep all the time.
Off to drink tea, cook dinner, and watch a movie with <3.
I have no idea if this is related to my medical issues or not (I'm guessing not), but my self-esteem has been down the tubes lately.
I've been extremely self-conscious, especially about what I say. It leads, more often than not, to me not saying things that are probably fine. Or would have been good/hilarious to say. Many, if not most of my social interactions lately have had glaringly awkward moments, and my social processing speed is down to a slow trot. Maybe this is due to a lot of my dynamics with people shifting recently, and my head trying to make sense of things.
I've also had my body image drop down to nil. I don't feel attractive at all in any way, shape, or form. I have no idea why, but I've been very unhappy when it comes to my looks.
Maybe this has something to do with my job leaving me covered in scratches, dog hair, and the occasional slobber of gratitude. Or the awkward midway-length stage of growing my hair back out.
I'm also trying very hard to be a good teacher, partner, seamstress, and a number of other challenging things and coming up empty in the confidence department.
I'm hoping this'll pass. I hate feeling like crap. And wanting to sleep all the time.
Off to drink tea, cook dinner, and watch a movie with <3.
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no subject
Date: 2009-09-27 12:13 am (UTC)havetook the photos to prove it, and there's nothing wrong with a little puppy-slobber. =;)Hang in there, and enjoy the tea and movie!
no subject
Date: 2009-09-27 01:56 am (UTC)Is it possible your emo is seasonal related? A sun lamp might help.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-27 05:14 am (UTC)Regardless, there are so many things that you're working hard for, so don't worry about any lack of gratitude now. You deserve every bit of thanks you'll be getting when the time comes. Also, you're super pretty. Kthx.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-27 05:02 pm (UTC)You are clever and have a lot of useful expertise. You are gorgeous and have a gorgeous boyfriend. You're friendly and have a bright smile that you put on display often.
The sun will keep shining on you.