Ten day meme, part seven: turn-offs

[hazliya]

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession

1. Entitlement. I absolutely can't stand people with any sense of being entitled to anything in this life.

2. The Sad Girl in the Corner. I see this a lot at parties, where one girl (and, occasionally, boy) is theatrically antisocial in a bid for attention. And I hate it because, while I refuse to reinforce that behavior with a concerned "Omg, what's wrong? It's okay, your social problems totally make you special and fit in here," other people are more than happy to oblige her. I hate that. Hate that. People come rushing over to the Sad Girl just like she wants, and she cycles through them tearfully as they feed her need for constant attention. I want to slap this girl. Hard. I mean, there was once where said girl was my Type with a capital T, down to her hairstyle and piercings, and I still wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot-pole. (This, if you couldn't tell, is another one of my soapboxes.)

3. People who don't speak up. I chatter endlessly about absolutely nothing, if left unchecked. I ramble. And segue. I'll do anything to keep conversation going, just about. So don't just sit there and pretend to be interested as I make an ass of myself in an attempt to find something you're interested in. Be assertive about it, and I'm seriously yours. And I'll learn what you're into. Otherwise, I walk away feeling like an idiot and you walk away thinking I'm an idiot. Who wins there?

4. Muffin tops. Men or women - if it doesn't fit, don't wear it.

Comments

[redfishie.livejournal.com]

I am so with you on the first 2. Both drive me nuts, an will likely make my own list in some form.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_dragonwolf_/]

I AGREE WITH ALL THESE THINGS. SO MUCH.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

You've been writing fashion, right? How do you feel about muffin tops?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_dragonwolf_/]

DESPISE THEM. Not only is it kind of unattractive and in poor taste, it's like not respecting your body-- "Oh, this style of dress is what's cool, so I'd better wear it whether it makes me look good or not. The clothes that actually suit my figure aren't good enough." Bah. Any figure looks better in things that fit and flatter. Muffin tops are the symptom of the exact opposite of that.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

I won't even wear underwear that pinches even a little. Lace is good for that. I can't understand people who are otherwise attractive, but insist on wearing clothing that is too small. Wearing a skinnier size doesn't make you look skinnier! It does the opposite!

[redfishie.livejournal.com]

Its honestly mind boggling.

[alankria.livejournal.com]

Wow, where are these bizarre parties where people actually approach the antisocial person/people? I don't hang out in the corner as a bid for attention, though, but because I'm genuinely bored; I'll leave a little while later and do something more interesting, like read a book. But the idea of people actually noticing someone who is mind-numbingly bored is kind of weird.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

Not bored so much as being theatrically evasive at interacting as a bid for attention. The kind of "poor me, come rescue me" is a lure for people with white knight complexes. =/

Especially in geek circles, where the instinct is to assume that they have social issues.

[offside7.livejournal.com]

Totally with you on the Sad Girl in the Corner, except I would call it "Sad Person in the Corner." I think I've personally seen it more with guys.

[acousticshadow2.livejournal.com]

I also despise the pity me complex, and I actively avoid the company of people who portray it, but there is a level of social ill comfort that can be genuine.

For example, I suffer from social anxiety in large groups of people I am not acquainted with. I do well in small groups but am very uncomfortable in the company of a lot of people I don’t know. I do not leave my anxieties as an excuse not to socialize. I will often sit on the sidelines for an hour or so getting comfortable with my surroundings before I will branch out. Once I do, I’m a social butterfly. There is a fine line between social anxiety and passive aggressive “demand for attention” But demand for attention is easy to tell within the first 5 minutes of conversation.

Also, I find the white knight complex annoying. I don’t need to be rescued thank you very much. This princess isn’t in the castle because I’ve already fought my way out! I get really annoyed at people who when I vent because I have a problem try to white knight fix everything for me.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

I do not leave my anxieties as an excuse not to socialize.

See, that makes all the difference, in my opinion. I have no pity for those who don't even try. I will not help those not willing to help themselves.

If I see someone looking awkward, but still trying to be engaged in their surroundings, I'm more than happy to come over and introduce them to a few people and kick them into the conversation. But if you close yourself off and expect someone to come to you, I won't expend the effort, you know?

[hntrpyanfar.livejournal.com]

1. Wow, all the way, #1. OOfdah.

3. I like to listen, but I'm not afraid to interrupt with questions. I'll try to remember to speak up more. :)

4. I still want to yell 'who dressed you!?!' at some of the middle schoolers I'd see in my neighborhood. I've been guilty of muffining myself, but when I realize it I make changes, damnit. ;)

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