And women everywhere cringe...

[hazliya]

When I went to CVS today to raid the valentine's candy on clearance (side note: hershey's kisses now come in the "chocolate threesome" variety), I saw this written across the cover of Vogue or Cosmo or one of those magazines:
--
"YOUR
VUH-JAY-JAY!
New and fun things to know about your lady parts!"
--

...what?
Just... what?
-Haz

Comments

[vjnightshade.livejournal.com]

I AM GROSSLY OFFENDED BY WORDS USED IN MEDICAL JOURNALS. FORTUNATELY FOR ME, COSMO'S GOT MY BACK.

[/cruise control]

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

I, TOO, AM GROSSLY OFFENDED BY WORDS USED IN MEDICAL JOURNALS. I AM ALSO OFFENDED BY STUPID-SOUNDING EUPHEMISMS FOR SAID WORDS. ALL EUPHEMISMS MUST BE EMPOWERING.

"PHILOSOPHER" IS NOW MY WORD FOR "VUH-JAY-JAY."

[rigel.livejournal.com]

Hey baby, wanna get into some . . . Socratic dialogue?

[londo.livejournal.com]

Women can't be expected to keep up with the latest advances in va-jay-jay technology. Your va-jay-jay changes EVERY DAY and your little girl brain simply doesn't have the processing power required to follow it all.

You should be grateful to them. Besides, like the cover said - they're not just new things, they're FUN things!

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

Totally. You know, sometimes I forget it's even there! When I get in the shower, I see it and freak out and have to call my doctor. It's so embarrassing - I don't have room in my brain left after recipes and the instinct to reproduce. =/

[draike.livejournal.com]

I love the word va-jay-jay. It makes me giggle, and I use it frequently. xD

I fail at life, I know. But you'd be surprised how many women don't really know their own anatomy. It's sad that some of those magazine articles are necessary for certain people. Of course, it's nothing they couldn't google up and find out for free... but some people just like paying for a $6 book full of crappy-airbrushed advertisements for things they don't even describe properly? :B

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

But it's cosmo. They wouldn't print anything informative, just stupid things like how to make it so it smells like pizza down there so that your man will want to have hot, page-turning sex with you.

Also, "fun" things to do with your vagina? Other than masturbating or pinching fleshy bits to make squishy faces (don't laugh - there's a book that recommends this to 'get to know' your lady parts), what are you going to do? Use it as a pen/calculator pocket?

[rigel.livejournal.com]

Gah!

Ok, imagining my "lady bits" smelling like pizza has made me disgusted with my own vagina.

[draike.livejournal.com]

There's a porn novel right there. "Her petals had the sweet aroma of a fresh large pepperoni with a hint of marinara..." rofl.

Fun things to do with a vajayjay... hmm.. well, I suppose you could be like my friend Linzi and learn to queef on command? :D (No, seriously.. she really can do that. It's kinda scary.)

[kadath.livejournal.com]

what are you going to do? Use it as a pen/calculator pocket?

Well, since you mention it... (http://buggydoo.blogspot.com/2007/06/contest-humiliating-moments-in.html)

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

I remember hntrpyanfar sending that to me a while ago. xD

I was totally the "Chicken baginas!" kid.

[rigel.livejournal.com]

I dunno about you, but if I had something attached to me called a vuh-jay-jay, I'd want to know about it.

(It sounds dangerous or infected, to me.)

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's like a brain slug, but in the crotch area?

Then again, depending on who you talk to, the vuh-jay-jay does control the straight male mind...

[rigel.livejournal.com]

Crotch slug!

[dncingmalkavian.livejournal.com]

Agreed. What the hell were they thinking?

I'm gonna say it again.

VAGINA! Vagvagvagvag-VUHJAYJAY-VAGINA, biatch!

I feel better now.

[witeoutking.livejournal.com]

50 bucks says it was O Magazine. "Vuh-jay-jay" is pretty much Oprah's favorite word.

I kinda wanna see the vuh-jay-jays play against the Blue Jays. I think the extra jay will help.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

It wasn't Oprah, seeing as there was an airbrushed model on the cover. Some pop singer.

Cosmo only wishes they could be as cool as Oprah. Instead, they just sound like their target audience is three.

[vjnightshade.livejournal.com]

I just had another thought:

The Vuh-jay-jay Monologues

Oh lol.

[dncingmalkavian.livejournal.com]

Oh no! The feminazis are after us! RUN!

Its the va-

[laurenjackie.livejournal.com]

i believe va-jay-jay was first coined by oprah.
so it must be a legit term.

i also bought that issue of cosmo.
because i was intrested in finding out some fun new facts!

fun fact #3: its not a black hole.

fun fact #9: touching it can help you relax

wow, amazing.
how fun, sassy, classy!