Entry, abridged

[hazliya]

For those of you who saw my last post before I took it down, things are better now. Much, much better.

Dan and Trista and (maybe?) Kat tonight! =)

Also, today is NASCAR day.

And I have Shannon Harrower friended on facebook. xD

More things I have learned from waitressing

- If someone brings in something wrapped in a blanket, always assume it's Satan. It is not a baby unless it gives solid proof that it is not, in fact, the devil. Otherwise, safe to say Satan.

- If your entire family weighs 300+ lbs apiece, smearing 6 packets of butter on a piece of bread and substituting all of your veggies and salads for fries and baked potatoes with cheese is PERFECTLY normal and healthy.

- Bleu cheese dressing is supposed to be chunky. Remember which little containers (out of the HUNDREDS in the fridge) have extra chunks, because customers will send back salads that aren't chunkimoldificationized enough.

- Forks always run out first.

- When in doubt, smile like a doofus. People like that.

- There really is NO PLEASING some people.

- Not everyone knows that you're supposed to tip your waitress. Even if they've seen countless other people give generous tips and you've been going to restaurants twice a week all your life.

- Grin and bear the bad music, comforted by the thought that karaoke is only 3 nights a week.

- TRICKY KIDS BRING IN THEIR OWN CRAYONS! Keep watching them out of the corner of your eye - foreign crayons are never washable. If the little bundle of hellfluff starts getting shifty-eyed and conspicuosly drifts to the edge of the paper, glare and SQUASH THAT SUCKER FLAT BEFORE IT STARTS. We should seriously start charging parents for cleaning masterpieces off of the tables.

- If they're mean and do things you can charge them for, do so.

- When stalking people, be cheerful.

Shower time! In the meantime, enjoy the lessons of waitresshood. Does anyone enjoy the ones I share? Should I keep 'em up?

-Haz

Comments

[ladyscience.livejournal.com]

Grin and bear the bad music, comforted by the thought that karaoke is only 3 nights a week.

And that's 4 night too many. ;-)

I didn't know if I was invited tonight, so I don't know. I may have plans with someone else.

[lopaanre.livejournal.com]

Here's a question for you, does flirting get you a bigger tip?

[jalawingedone.livejournal.com]

Please, continue with the waitressy goodness! Or oddness, whichever.

[jalawingedone.livejournal.com]

Though if you could lj cut the waitressy goodness, that might be good. It's a bit long.