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hazliyaMinor spoilers for Dragon Age: Origins. If you haven't taken your first visit to Redcliffe Village yet and Alistair hasn't told you about his heritage, skip this. Otherwise, nothing I say next will surprise you.
And even if you don't play Dragon Age but have played RPGs with conversation prompts, you may find this entertaining.
As I make an ass of myself by misunderstanding conversation options. Actually, a queen. An ass-queen, I guess.
So, one of the options on the main quest is to place Alistair, a party member who confides in you that he is the bastard son of the deceased king, on the throne. From the moment he tells you about his lineage, you know that this is probably coming down the road. It is a fantasy game, after all.
So, the steps of the quest to put him on the throne culminate in a Landsmeet, where all of the nobles congregate. Depending on who you've won over to your side, some nobles will support Alistair's claim. Others, as expected, will challenge it.
I was on a roll. All of the nobles who had shouted their questions, I shut up with Logic! and Plot! answers.
Bam! I rescued your son!
Bam! The current queen is a crazy bitch!
Bam! He already knows how to fight the Darkspawn!
Finally, someone brought up his heritage, asking how someone brought up as a commoner could ever hope to understand nobility and thus, the throne.
My options to refute this:
- Then I will be by his side!
- His father was a king - nothing can dispute nobility by *blood.*
- You raise a good point.
- That is irrelevant!
Hey, I thought, I was the daughter of a Teyrn, highest noble class below the king! I could totally help him out, right? So I answered the first. Alistair was happily surprised, managing something like "Really? You will?", and the nobles murmured their agreement. Alistair was accepted as king. I did good, right?
How it went in my head:
PC: "I will tutor him on the nobility system and which forks to use!"
Alistair: "Really? That would be so useful!"
Nobles: "Yes! This is a good idea because she can turn him into a true nobleman."
What it actually meant in the game:
PC: "I will marry him and rule alongside him as queen!"
Alistair: "Really? You love me!"
Nobles: "Yes! This is a good idea because she is nobility and therefore a good match."
I had no idea that anything was amiss until he cornered me afterward. "Funny story," he said, "I walked into a Landsmeet and walked out engaged. Anything you want to chat about?"
Can we still fight the invasion? I asked.
Yes, he said, as long as we have babies later.
Works for me.
So, that's how I accidentally became queen. I'm sure I could go back and do something more eloquent and graceful and on purpose, but it's too funny not to.
Besides, Alistair's adorable.
And I'd make an awesome queen.
And even if you don't play Dragon Age but have played RPGs with conversation prompts, you may find this entertaining.
As I make an ass of myself by misunderstanding conversation options. Actually, a queen. An ass-queen, I guess.
So, one of the options on the main quest is to place Alistair, a party member who confides in you that he is the bastard son of the deceased king, on the throne. From the moment he tells you about his lineage, you know that this is probably coming down the road. It is a fantasy game, after all.
So, the steps of the quest to put him on the throne culminate in a Landsmeet, where all of the nobles congregate. Depending on who you've won over to your side, some nobles will support Alistair's claim. Others, as expected, will challenge it.
I was on a roll. All of the nobles who had shouted their questions, I shut up with Logic! and Plot! answers.
Bam! I rescued your son!
Bam! The current queen is a crazy bitch!
Bam! He already knows how to fight the Darkspawn!
Finally, someone brought up his heritage, asking how someone brought up as a commoner could ever hope to understand nobility and thus, the throne.
My options to refute this:
- Then I will be by his side!
- His father was a king - nothing can dispute nobility by *blood.*
- You raise a good point.
- That is irrelevant!
Hey, I thought, I was the daughter of a Teyrn, highest noble class below the king! I could totally help him out, right? So I answered the first. Alistair was happily surprised, managing something like "Really? You will?", and the nobles murmured their agreement. Alistair was accepted as king. I did good, right?
How it went in my head:
PC: "I will tutor him on the nobility system and which forks to use!"
Alistair: "Really? That would be so useful!"
Nobles: "Yes! This is a good idea because she can turn him into a true nobleman."
What it actually meant in the game:
PC: "I will marry him and rule alongside him as queen!"
Alistair: "Really? You love me!"
Nobles: "Yes! This is a good idea because she is nobility and therefore a good match."
I had no idea that anything was amiss until he cornered me afterward. "Funny story," he said, "I walked into a Landsmeet and walked out engaged. Anything you want to chat about?"
Can we still fight the invasion? I asked.
Yes, he said, as long as we have babies later.
Works for me.
So, that's how I accidentally became queen. I'm sure I could go back and do something more eloquent and graceful and on purpose, but it's too funny not to.
Besides, Alistair's adorable.
And I'd make an awesome queen.
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no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 01:54 am (UTC)(the clip's here (http://www.hulu.com/watch/102965/saturday-night-live-beauty-and-the-beast) on Hulu, too.)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 01:42 am (UTC)When I played, I ended up driving Alistair out of the group ... for reasons involving Loghain. I supported the queen, because Alistair didn't strike me as smart enough to be king.