Blessing of the Princess Squishface

[hazliya]

On Saturday, I went to the pre-natal birthday party for quish's baby Squishface, where I drank sangria out of a baby bottle, did a few jello shots, took some pictures, and fulfilled an age-old compact.

And by age-old compact, I mean a joke I made on LJ about six months ago.

(I also gave the baby a rainbow-colored felt plush Cthulhu mobile. I totally forgot to take pictures, but that's okay. She will learn to respect both elder gods and color theory.)

So, when most people were assembled outside and quish was fairly unsuspicious of any scheming (btw, we were at shadowravyn and shogunhb's house. There is always scheming there.) I came out and announced that, as is traditional with the birth of a female child, the three good fairies were there to bestow blessings. And as Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather walked out in their wings and wands, quish lost her shit for a few minutes.



The first gift, from Flora, was the gift of sass. As was stated, "it's a gift for the baby, not for you. It's probably like, an anti-gift for you."



The second gift, from Fauna, was the gift of music. It involved a music cube, which used Mozart and a variety of instrumentation to entertain as well as teach.



But before Merriweather could bestow her gift, Maleficent (read: shadowravyn) came out and demanded to know who all these bitches were, why they were in her backyard, and why she wasn't invited.



In her fury, she decreed that while Squishface would indeed grow up sassy and musical, on the day she turned sixteen she would fall in love with someone totally inappropriate (and not in the good way), become bitter and jaded (again, not in the good way), and proceed to be mauled by a bear.

It fell to Merriweather to circumvent this tragedy. After a moment, it was decided that the third gift would be the gift of marksmanship. Thus, in order to prevent such horrible things from befalling the sassy and musical teenager, Squishface would receive a gun on her sixteenth birthday.



Which quish will totally hold him to.

The moral of the story? Careful what you tell me on LJ. Also, ridiculous friends make everything better.

The end.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_dragonwolf_/]

What an awesome idea, Haz! You are the coolest for putting this together.

[hazliya.livejournal.com]

I actually did very little. They volunteered, I did some shopping and took pictures. Besides, it was totally worth it to see the look on her face when they walked out xD

[quish.livejournal.com]

Did you tell them to wear shirts that matched the wing colors, or was that one of those Awesome Coincidences?

And thank you for your help. That is just so cool.

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

That was a little more of Haz's excellent planning skills. Over email, we agreed who was who, and they dressed to coordinate.

But, seriously, all props go to Haz for organizing it.

[bonisagus.livejournal.com]

And by coincidence, my shirt matched the wings almost perfectly. :)

[offside7.livejournal.com]

That is totally awesome!

[usernamenumber.livejournal.com]

This made me squee. Fabulous! :)

[bonisagus.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA...I'm still snickering as I write this. :)

[bonisagus.livejournal.com]

And is Toph looking at me askance? It's the baby bottle with vodka and punch isn't it? :)