Poetry fight!
Aug. 12th, 2006 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hazliyaI had my first (and possibly only) poetry fight of my life over the last few days. Taking place on Facebook, I have decided to share with you all my well-deserved victory.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:08pm August 9th, 2006
You're like the status-changing ninja. Every time I check my friends list, you're doing something new. And now you're "getting sentimental over me."
Ninjas don't cry, bitch! There is no 'cry' in 'ninja!'
I demand that you have your emotions removed this second and go back to being the cold little misanthropic status-change ninja I knew and was so fond of.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 2:44am August 10th, 2006
Change is all there is.
It is the only constant.
That and Wall Haiku.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 1:07pm August 10th, 2006
Insolent ninja!
You respond with a haiku?
What a feeble bitch.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 9:45pm August 10th, 2006
You mock the Haiku?
Most deadly of man's poems?
You will die quickly.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 11:05pm August 10th, 2006
To a ninja who knows not his place
Crap haikus on my wall - in this case
I'll jump o'er the land rift
just to leave you a gift:
A mushroom-shaped bruise on your face.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 11:09pm August 10th, 2006
Your lymeric was really quite lame.
I've heard more than a million the same.
though with penial slap threats,
you'd best hedge your bets.
When i slap you know it's to mame.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:19am August 11th, 2006
D is for "determination," since you're so set on having your butt handed to you through cheap verse.
O is for "octopus," which has nothing to do with anything but I think about them often.
M is for "members only," - 80s like your silly flat-top hair.
I is for "inkwork," like the not-so-secret tattoo of Vanilla Ice on your ass.
N is for "ninjakind," who hang their heads in shame.
I is for "invalid," which is what you are when you're kicked in the crotch.
C is for "owned!" since you don't have to spell correctly, neither do I. OH!
-Hazliya, empress of Fearsomeness
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 3:24am August 11th, 2006
Haz is to short, so im gonna go with Hazliya...or should i say your highness?
H: "Hopeless". This is an uphill battle. You shouldnt have started it in the first place.
A: "Atila the Done", also known as "Whats a name for an Asian warlord who is wall posting themself into a corner?"
Z: "Ziggerauts" will be errected in your honor, all with the inscription "here lies Haz, she should have just thrown herself in front of a train. It would have been less inevitable."
L: "Lonely" and sad, you attempt to post your way into the hearts and minds of the masses.
I: "Inconceivable" stubborness combined with amaturish prose are the ingredients of a tragic young adult death.
Y: "Your momma". There. I said it.
A: "At least" have the common decency to quit while your ahead.
~Dominic "Hyphy4Evah" DiGiovanni
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:52pm August 11th, 2006
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
Insulting me with cheap rhymes and prose
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
Although I know your grammar’s worse
each adorable mistake with spelling shows
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
I cringe when I read a jab or curse
though your manly ego through it glows
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
And still it seems you’re quite perverse
But even that’s endearing as well, I suppose
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
Your vocabulary is quite diverse
Cockslaps, insults, and cute childish lows
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
I fear these affections could never disperse
as I print out your poems to go blow my nose
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
I wrote you a VILLANELLE, sucker!
OH YEAH!
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 4:32am
Sweet. Cuppin'. Cakes.
Thats it, im throwing in the towel. An English major be not me. You have proven your worth on this battle field and others and I concede to you. Truly enjoyed, and fairly won.
Villanelles? Really?
Was that quite necessary?
Well, i suppose so.
~ Dominic "Got Schooled" DiGiovanni
Haz Harrower wrote
at 9:48am
Yes, yes. Truly enjoyed - you proved to be a worthy adversary. But I shall be merciful and not proceed to reem you out, especially not on your own profile wall. Instead I shall content myself to a small yet highly celebratory victory dance here, in front of the laptop, and reminisce about the good times had.
I'm up for a rematch anytime.
- Haz "Fuck, I wanted to do a sonnet" Harrower
Oh, man. That was awesome. I think everybody should go do that. When you're forced to write crap like that, it's much funnier. I think it could've gone on longer, but I pulled out my trump card too soon. I was going to do a sonnet, Dr. Seuss, or maybe a sestina. And if it really came down to it, I was going to just copy and paste the text of the entire "Iliad" and just replace random major names with "Dominic."
Fuck, that makes me laugh so hard.
-Haz
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:08pm August 9th, 2006
You're like the status-changing ninja. Every time I check my friends list, you're doing something new. And now you're "getting sentimental over me."
Ninjas don't cry, bitch! There is no 'cry' in 'ninja!'
I demand that you have your emotions removed this second and go back to being the cold little misanthropic status-change ninja I knew and was so fond of.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 2:44am August 10th, 2006
Change is all there is.
It is the only constant.
That and Wall Haiku.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 1:07pm August 10th, 2006
Insolent ninja!
You respond with a haiku?
What a feeble bitch.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 9:45pm August 10th, 2006
You mock the Haiku?
Most deadly of man's poems?
You will die quickly.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 11:05pm August 10th, 2006
To a ninja who knows not his place
Crap haikus on my wall - in this case
I'll jump o'er the land rift
just to leave you a gift:
A mushroom-shaped bruise on your face.
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 11:09pm August 10th, 2006
Your lymeric was really quite lame.
I've heard more than a million the same.
though with penial slap threats,
you'd best hedge your bets.
When i slap you know it's to mame.
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:19am August 11th, 2006
D is for "determination," since you're so set on having your butt handed to you through cheap verse.
O is for "octopus," which has nothing to do with anything but I think about them often.
M is for "members only," - 80s like your silly flat-top hair.
I is for "inkwork," like the not-so-secret tattoo of Vanilla Ice on your ass.
N is for "ninjakind," who hang their heads in shame.
I is for "invalid," which is what you are when you're kicked in the crotch.
C is for "owned!" since you don't have to spell correctly, neither do I. OH!
-Hazliya, empress of Fearsomeness
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 3:24am August 11th, 2006
Haz is to short, so im gonna go with Hazliya...or should i say your highness?
H: "Hopeless". This is an uphill battle. You shouldnt have started it in the first place.
A: "Atila the Done", also known as "Whats a name for an Asian warlord who is wall posting themself into a corner?"
Z: "Ziggerauts" will be errected in your honor, all with the inscription "here lies Haz, she should have just thrown herself in front of a train. It would have been less inevitable."
L: "Lonely" and sad, you attempt to post your way into the hearts and minds of the masses.
I: "Inconceivable" stubborness combined with amaturish prose are the ingredients of a tragic young adult death.
Y: "Your momma". There. I said it.
A: "At least" have the common decency to quit while your ahead.
~Dominic "Hyphy4Evah" DiGiovanni
Haz Harrower wrote
at 12:52pm August 11th, 2006
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
Insulting me with cheap rhymes and prose
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
Although I know your grammar’s worse
each adorable mistake with spelling shows
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
I cringe when I read a jab or curse
though your manly ego through it glows
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
And still it seems you’re quite perverse
But even that’s endearing as well, I suppose
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
Your vocabulary is quite diverse
Cockslaps, insults, and cute childish lows
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
I fear these affections could never disperse
as I print out your poems to go blow my nose
Dom, why are you so unkind in verse?
If you only knew that I felt the reverse.
I wrote you a VILLANELLE, sucker!
OH YEAH!
Dominic DiGiovanni wrote
at 4:32am
Sweet. Cuppin'. Cakes.
Thats it, im throwing in the towel. An English major be not me. You have proven your worth on this battle field and others and I concede to you. Truly enjoyed, and fairly won.
Villanelles? Really?
Was that quite necessary?
Well, i suppose so.
~ Dominic "Got Schooled" DiGiovanni
Haz Harrower wrote
at 9:48am
Yes, yes. Truly enjoyed - you proved to be a worthy adversary. But I shall be merciful and not proceed to reem you out, especially not on your own profile wall. Instead I shall content myself to a small yet highly celebratory victory dance here, in front of the laptop, and reminisce about the good times had.
I'm up for a rematch anytime.
- Haz "Fuck, I wanted to do a sonnet" Harrower
Oh, man. That was awesome. I think everybody should go do that. When you're forced to write crap like that, it's much funnier. I think it could've gone on longer, but I pulled out my trump card too soon. I was going to do a sonnet, Dr. Seuss, or maybe a sestina. And if it really came down to it, I was going to just copy and paste the text of the entire "Iliad" and just replace random major names with "Dominic."
Fuck, that makes me laugh so hard.
-Haz
